If only you knew what I know, you wouldn’t be so scared to feel.
This is the thought I have so many times when working with clients during the Transformational Acupuncture process.
Restoring a sense of inner balance, reconnecting with the spark of life force that makes us feel alive, connected and empowered is quite appealing, right? And yet, it feels scary too. And this is because we are asking our nervous systems to embark on an adventure - to accept change, to accept something new, and to grow into unknown territory.
And if there is one thing a nervous system hates, it’s the unknown. This is a quote I come back to so often, because it is so so true:
'Our nervous systems will always pick a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.'
There are periods of the Transformational Acupuncture process where I am holding the space supporting the growth, smiling with confidence because I know where we are going is so good. The destination is on the other side of the bridge. But I know crossing that bridge can feel pretty scary...
Change is easy enough when it comes to the mundane things like building fitness – work the muscles hard, accept the pain in the process, and get rewarded with strength...gardening – do the weeding, the digging, the fertilising, get rewarded with the lovely fresh growth....exams – commit to regular study, put in the effort, get rewarded with good results. It is graft. It takes commitment to a goal to see it come to fruition.
It is no different when it comes to building a better emotional landscape. Feeling better means weeding out the not so good feelings, and that’s where we seem to run a mile. Touch that electric fence around our emotional comfort zone, and we get shocked right back into our pens...
I use the word ‘pen’ on purpose...because comfort zones become pens after a while, familiar, ‘safe’, but oh so restrictive...the space limited, the access to fresh pastures barred, the horizon out of reach, no freedom, nowhere to go. Growth means leaving this comfort zone, and exploring new, unknown territory.
Nervous systems are there to keep us safe. The hypervigilant guard, checking the horizons for threat, letting us know through body signals when to retreat, stay small, hide away. And the more burdened a nervous system is, weighed down with old traumas and outdated beliefs, the more hypervigilant it becomes. The more hypervigilant we become, the smaller we stay. Everything feels restrictive, we’re getting squeezed by the limitations of our comfort zones.
And for this reason, inner growth is hard. We resist it, because it ‘feels’ unsafe, and yet we can’t avoid it because we are running out of space.
And this is why the Transformational Acupuncture process was born – it found me through my own journey through the brambles. When I met my edges, I thought ‘there has to be a better way through this’, and I was guided to explore whole new world of nervous system sensitive modalities, including IFS, somatic experiencing and polyvagal theory, training with some of the most well-known pioneers in the evolving world of nervous system resilience, such as Deb Dana, Dick Schwartz and Frank Anderson. What I experienced along the way transformed the way I practiced and the way I lived.
Throughout the Transformational Acupuncture process, we are led by your nervous system to explore the edges, and gently navigate beyond them. We restore a sense of trust and safety within the body, we identify the ‘Boon’, the place of reward we are heading to, and, inevitably, we meet the barriers holding us back along the way, gently overcoming them, cutting a path towards your dreams. Using a combination of guided meditation, nervous system therapies, gentle acupuncture and nice homework in-between, we meet the parts of you that want to be heard, we hear them and assimilate them into the journey.
If you knew what I knew...that we aren't avoiding suffering by avoiding our feelings, we are perpetuating it...and that freedom is on the other side of the fear...then you wouldn't be so scared to feel...
With Transformational Acupuncture, you get to walk yourself home.
To find out more, see here.
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